Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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