if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
