How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
whose parrot is this?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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