...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
