god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
tell me about the fingering
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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