She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
