her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
