I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
