we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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