i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
