seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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