Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
