You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
