she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
