Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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