I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
