If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
