We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
