It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
