I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I want to fling myself into the sun
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
