I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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