My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
