u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
