clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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