Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
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I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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