therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
