My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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