I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
