I am in a vortex of obligation.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I think a kid would responsible me up
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
