woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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