i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
