theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
