omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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