they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
