Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
