i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
