On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
