Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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