the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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