Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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