you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it's like iHOP with fire
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
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And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
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Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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