Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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