don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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