The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
