Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
