I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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