I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize