I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize