he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
