I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
