just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
This is my gift to your gina
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
