Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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