I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
