hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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