First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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