ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
