You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
It's Friday. Sex?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
