Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
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