We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
His hands were made for my vagina.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
