defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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