Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
