Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
